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Intolerance: Gate ~04, Human Design charts: my conditioning experience with intolerant locations

My girlfriend's bodygraph held the gate 04, which when in the negative configuration gives the meaning "intolerance." Everything I've done at this house is sort of a fractal of that period when I was with her, because we bought this house then, or shortly after, and my mom's partner also had that gate. The positive or so-called benign manifestation of that gate is 'forgiveness.' So I transferred from the college I was at when I came to this house (intolerance) and carried a fractal of that energy to the new college I was at: Belmont: founded on a girls-only school, Baptist, very traditional, don't mess around, don't go to hell, (no room for error == intolerance).

so what positive values did I attach to 'intolerance'? After college, I didn't want to come home, because I didn't want to tolerate the... intolerance of this location, so I found a masculine figure (channel of logic is my Dad's channel) Sam Ovens, and he taught me how to organize my business, lifestyle, etc. with a focus on eliminating things that "didn't matter" or "didn't move the boat forward."

I felt I was making progress in life by eliminating parts of it, or parts of my surroundings. That may be correct for people who have that in their chart, but I don't; I only have gate 37 which is the counterpart of 63 (63-04 channel of logic), so it's sort of connected.
 

Yet that was also eliminating part of me. I'm not meant to function that way in society. It was an ingrained habit, but fortunately it's just the conditioning of the location, and as soon as I think differently, maybe I can deal with, or tolerate, the intolerance enough to find a new place that I can also tolerate. 

I also appreciate that I switched religions or directions multiple times via this location, because I couldn't tolerate certain things. But that makes it hard to stick with one thing. This location is extremely hard for me to focus on my computer or studying, because of that. Also because we are moving out of the Cross of Planning, with its focus. And... I simply cannot tolerate it here!


I guess I'm also afraid of how I come across as intolerant of others, since whenever I come home, my solar plexus is smushed and that pushes my teeth out of whack, disconnecting my sympathetic nervous system, so people can't really connect from the center center (third chakra) belly or stomach with me... and that's why I've felt disconnected so long. Karma for relying on my mom's house for shelter. Also: lactose intolerance, allergies, etc they all happen here but nowhere else for me, because I have an open G-center (location, direction, career).

I haven't mastered Human Design so take this essay with a grain of salt. There are true teachers and better than me out there.


Location < thoughts < love > self-acceptance > new-location

light > ~04 > denial, intolerance > stuck at ~1009: NORTH SOLANDRA.

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