unconsciously feeling unaccepted > distracting myself with computer problems, or making music on my computer, all alone, when I could be working a job at BestBuy meeting people or going out to events like gymnastics, parks, etc.
getting caught up in my little projector lack-of-energy problems with what to get or not get from the store that I cannot afford because I'm just focused on my own tiny problems instead of working with generators and seeing who they are, what they need, because unconsciously I felt that they didn't see what I saw them for last time. But the fact is nobody can see what i see, the way I see it.
Knowledge is a double-edged sword on which many impale themselves. The mind onli knows how to cut and separate, because as itself alone, can never have or be anything of its own, it can onli cut everything else that is sees as the outer jungle. The mind can onli grasp things in duality, and loses sight of what is known deeper. Thus it is a tool as a veil that covers, and a tool as one that cuts, but never as one that knows what is meant to be covered, and what is meant to be cut. Wisdom is necessary to guide knowledge, else it becomes abuse of power. 'What is a good man but a bad man's teacher? What is a bad man but a good man's job? If you don't understand this, you will get lost, however intelligent you are.: It is the great secret.' Lao Tzu https://www.organism.earth/library/document/tao-te-ching
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