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central-sleep-apnea, solved; Adrenals, solved; digestion and underweight-issue-solved;

I think I finally solved the biggest problem in my life for the last decade. It's related to my heart, and teeth. I've been trying to prove myself, to women, because my body saw them as my primary caretaker, and yet I have an open heart; in human design, it's not me to try to prove myself. I will always burn out. And i certainly DID burn out.

I've known it's my teeth for several months, because that's my Saturn in my Human Design. Saturn is the price-to-pay, for not following the Jupiter, which is the law and 'luck' of your design. Paying for dental and orthodontics is like the price I must pay.

I wasn't able to produce enough adrenaline, nor digest the food in my stomach, nor operate my spleen at full-capacity to clean out toxins, and purify the iron-content in my blood, because the meridians on my teeth (see the diagram) were not flowing. 

But I feel like a racecar today, since I made a mouthguard which closed the gap between my back molars. They had been hanging ever since around 2015, and the orthodontist even adjusted my bite to the side to compensate for an uneven jaw (x axis). So because my jaw was slightly stressed all this time, I had central-sleep-apnea, which affects the nervous system and sleep-hormones which tell the blood to dilate and such; As we know in chi-gong, when there is a disruption in the form, the energy stops flowing and you can certainly feel it.


 I was concerned that having my wisdom teeth removed before college was a huge mistake, however the problem was really more of the blockage of energy via the stress on my jaw and my temperomandibular joint (TMD, known in the U.S. as TMJ)

 Here's an log from my journal, on why i couldn't actually see what i needed to see to fix it on the material level, since we live in an illusion:

My insomnia = I'll never be able to pay mom back. I'll never be able to earn my worth. People are pushing me too far... they're on my nerves, and I can't sleep until I prove them wrong!

In 2018 I asked myself what it feels like to reject love, because love is a choice, and part of me felt smothered by it. And I had more opportunities to play the role of being uncompassionate for my fellow man, which reflects on my body as well.

I stopped drinking milk because I got into an argument about how much calcium it has. I didn’t realize that my nerves were suffering and my fight-or-flight mechanism was more easily triggered because I lacked calcium. I had trouble sleeping and doing my job as an accompanist. I also went vegetarian and vegan too fast. I leapt before I looked.


But all of that to say that part of me wanted a journey, and felt resisted or challenged. But it was I who brought that the resistance with me on my journey.  The word “vagus” means “wander.”

I made an album named the Wanderers, based on the inspiration from the Wild Alaskan Salmon which sacrificed its life to join me in Costco one fateful day last month. Which you can listen to here:

And so my body was trying to tell me a lesson, because not only does Salmon have much proline in it which supports the solar plexus nerves, but also choline which supplies the neurotransmitter in the vagus nerve, acetylcholine, for the relaxation of the muscles.

I’m eating much more calcium now, because calcium supports the nerves as well. [edit: later I found out according to Morley Robbins calcium is antagonistic to the absorption of magnesium, and we really need magnesium, so be careful. That's why natural milk has both magnesium and calcium. But almond milk and vegan milks, I'm not sure they do. Most people are wayyyy deficient in magnesium.]

I have at least a bit more compassion for those souls who are deeply disconnected from their body, living under the mantle of the earth, or above it, who seek to control others because they cannot remember how to nurture themselves from the inside out rather than the outside in.

 

 


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